Divemaster Alert Test

Tyll has recently been back on the island from his home in La Ceiba. He found some goodies in his old house here,he had written years ago, and we agreed would they find a great place on this blog.
Enjoy and hopefully it will make you smile.

                                                  DAT TEST 
                        (Divemaster Alert Test)

                                                                                 

                                                              By Tyll Sass

Take this Divemaster Alert Test and match your skills with those of the experts. Answers down below. (No cheating now...)

1. Archimedes Principal: If you have 30 gallons of fresh water in a rinsetank, then you submerge and fill one gallon into a container.
How many gallons remain in the rinsetank? when you compare them.
a) 28         b) 32      
c) all of the above    d) none of the above


2.   If 3 divers in the water planned a bottom time of one hour, and 3 more people jumped in and planned to stay 30 minutes halfway
through the first group's dive. How many divers would be in the water 59 minutes after the first group jumped in?
a) 5      b) 6       c) 12
d) none of the above


3. If you were diving in Cozumel, and wanted a dive plan before the boat left the dock for the divesite. Who would you ask?

a) the secretary behind the window who took your money
b) the divemaster on the boat
c) you'd call Paul Tzimolis of Skin-Diver magazine
d) nobody, you'd plan the dive when the boat got there

4. You have been assigned a new buddy, (as your last one is sitting this one out in the chamber) and you notice him fidgeting with his equipment, he is irritable, twitching and think he knows it all.

a) he has oxygen poisoning                  b) he is anxious/perfectionist
c) he is on drugs                                    d) he is obnoxious/dependent

5.You and your buddy are on 60 ft., and you notice a 10 ft. difference in your depth gauges.
What should you do?

a) immediately go to the surface & blow your whistle
b) use the 70 ft. schedule then decompress for 5 min. at 10 ft.
c) continue the dive as if nothing happend
d) throw the gauge that gives the shallower reading into the dumpster upon completion of the dive

6. You are diving in a shipping channel. It is 20 ft. deep and 65 ft. wide. The current is 2 knots. You decide to surface, and see an oiltanker  coming
towards you that draws 18 ft. of water and is 60 ft. wide.
a) Wave furiously to hail the bridge
b) swim like hell!
c) ditch your gear & head for shore
d) kiss your ass good-bye!

7. Somehow you've lucked out and drawn Bob Croft in a buddy-pool on a live-aboard dive trip. (He was the world's free diving champion in the 70's).
On your first dive with him, you are at 60 ft., suddenly his eyes widen and become the size of saucers. You should immediately:

a) drop his weight belt and slowly assist him to the surface
b) drop his weight belt and inflate his BCD
c) turn around

8. Your dive boat captain is drunk and passes out. Meanwhile the dive boat has run up on a reef and the batteries are dead.
The tide is going out.
You should:
a) call the Coast Guard
b) set all anchors and try winching off
c) patch the hole underwater with marine-tex
d) have a drink. You are going to be there a while

9. Your new dive buddy weighs 350 lbs. You both jump into the water with a giant stride. He forgets to inflate his BCD and goes straight to the bottom. Then his weight belt falls of, he hits the CO2 cartridge and comes roaring past you towards the surface.
You should:
a) grab his feet as he goes by
b) try to deflate his BCD by stabbing at it with your dive knife
c) drop your weight belt inflate you BCD and try catch him
d) get back in the boat and get a new dive buddy


10) In an emergency, using oxygen, you should:

a) lubricate all moving parts with transmission oil
b) if the valve sticks or leak, have an oxygen "expert" ready with a ballpien hammer
c) be sure the gauge does not read over 21% before opening valve
d) keep it on deck



ANSWER SHEET

1. None of the above - it never said he took the container back out, stupid!
2. None of the above - the second 3 were snorklers.
3. Nobody - the secretary doesn't speak English, none of the divemasters can hear, and Paul Tzimolis is always busy.
4. d
5. Both c and d are correct. since your buddys gauge read 50 ft.
6. Both c and d are correct.
7. Turn around. There is probably a great white closing in. Bob Croft likely wouldn't panic at 60 ft....he can free dive to 300.
8. You can't call the Coast Guard because the batteries are dead. The only answer is to have a drink.
9. d - this guy is an idiot. You need a new buddy.
10. d - if you missed this one, there is no hope.

2012

2012.
What this year will bring us we can only wait and see.

Will the electric company RECO keep charging high fuel adjustment surcharges all year around?
Will the West End road project ever get finished? And if so, will residents and visitors think of it as a big improvement or a total fiasco? ,

Will The Tax People come back in even bigger force and audit businesses twice a day instead of every second day for a month?
Will any of us ever fully recover from 2009's Zelaya fiasco?
Will the world go crazy because of the Mayan Calenders ending?( Maybe a calender ending might just mean its time to get a new calender.)
Too many speculations for the first month of a New Year.
Some things seem never to change though, like the prices for diving and courses, and the availability of baleadas, rice, beans and chicken. At least we have this to hold on to so we can have some stability
in our daily life.

Looking very much forward to see a lot of you again this year for diving, hanging out, a game of Scrabble, Cribbage or Rummy 500, home cooked meals, catching up and sharing stories, fantastic diving in a small group. Not just watching fins and bubbles.
A recent diver at Tyll's Dive mentioned that we are not a big fancy shop, but a small shop with a big heart and where a small group experience is what you get, not just promised. Like that, because thats what we are really.
This is why Tyll's Dive can never be a big busy shop. We need to have time for our people,
make sure everyone has a good experience and a good time on Roatan, and thats why we love what we do. And hope we will be able to continue on with this .

Hope we can add more to the Tyll's family over the year!

Back to superstitions and such, would like to close this blog entry with a quote from Groucho Marx:
"A black cat crossing the street signifies an animal going somewhere.
Sometimes thats all it is."